I’m so excited to share this blog by Medium Alyson Gannon – it has been my pleasure to mentor her!
Alyson recently completed the JVP Mediumship Certification Level III, Graduate Program Spiritual Practitioner and helps people connect with their departed loved ones through readings. She maintains a private practice in Southern California and works with clients from around the world. Her website is: www.SpiritCommunication.com
Alyson is also the founder of a publishing company, FranklinRose.com and enjoys helping authors publish their books.
When a loved one passes, it can crack you wide open, prompting you to re-examine the meaning of life and question the finality of death. My Mom’s unexpected passing left me shattered, my life in shambles. We were very close and had an unbreakable bond. Mom was my biggest cheerleader—and suddenly, she was gone.
When I went to the funeral home to say a final goodbye, Mom lay there, lifeless, in the viewing room casket. Leaning over her still body, I whispered: “Mom, where did you go? Where did you go, Mom?” Clearly she was no longer in that shell of a body. But where was this beautiful, vivacious, loving woman? The woman who warmly greeted strangers on the street, speaking kind words to those she would meet, and in turn, being remembered by her community for her benevolent deeds in life. “Mom, where did you go?
When a loved one dies, it’s hard to know how to grieve. Are we grieving a finality? Mom died, the end. My father, a medical doctor, believes that death is the end. Lights out. Six feet under. If my father can’t physically see it, touch it, or test it, it doesn’t exist. So, after Mom passed, I found myself not knowing how to grieve. I was caught between Dad’s belief system and my hopes that Mom was still out there somewhere, and that her physical death was not the end.
Mom’s death catapulted me on a spiritual quest, changing my career direction from lawyer to Spiritual Medium. And, through this journey, I have learned that our departed loved ones are still very much alive. When we understand that death is not the end, but the beginning of a new type of relationship we can create together, a new spiritual doorway opens, and it can be quite magical!
Our Spirit loved ones try to get our attention in many ways: They communicate through dreams and synchronicities. They may send us a hummingbird, a rainbow, or a butterfly, they may play with the electricity in our homes, or leave us coins or feathers. Because we are grieving their physical loss, we often have our blinders on, and don’t recognize these signs of communication. But as we come to realize that the song playing on the radio, or the series of numbers we see in repetition, are actually signs from the spirit world, we begin to develop a greater awareness of our loved one’s presence and a knowningness that they are still very much around.
Knowing that Mom was still with me (although no longer in physical body), changed the way I grieved. My grief of her physical loss, turned into a quest to connect and communicate with her, allowing our relationship to continue in new ways.
Another aspect of grief we experience is dealing with the “would have’s, could have’s, and should have’s”: What if I had taken my loved one to a better doctor, or tried a different treatment, or had been there to save them? Or, what if I could have given them one more hug, or said “I love you” one more time! Unspoken words, unfinished deeds, and feelings of guilt can prolong our grief. For me—and I know this sounds silly—my guilt was over my mother’s cosmetics.
My mom loved the way I did her makeup, and when Mom and Dad went out to special evening events, she’d ask me to help “put her face on.” But I was a self-absorbed teenager— and at the time, that was a big request. I would plod reluctantly to her bathroom vanity and (with at least one eye roll), begrudgingly apply her makeup, before scurrying back to the telephone with my girlfriends.
For years after my mom’s passing, this “should have/could have been a better daughter” tape played through my mind. I reprimanded myself for not being more patient with her. As this painful memory came to mind again one day, I heard Mom say, “It’s not too late.” What?! As a spiritual medium, I am adept at “blending my energy” with people in the spirit world to communicate. As I blended with Mom, she reasurringly conveyed, “Alyson, it’s never too late. We can have this moment together again.” I could have another chance to do Mom’s makeup—right here, right now….and so we did!
We carved out this sacred space together, finding a quiet place to sit, me in the physical world and Mom in Spirit. With mom’s presence and using visualization, I lovingly applied her Lancôme foundation. In that moment, I could feel the structure of mom’s face, her high cheek-bones and slightly upturned nose. Taking her pink blush, I gently stroked it along her cheeks. Next, I applied her favorite lipstick, and lastly a touch of mascara. She looked radiant, as we both beamed. This loving exchange was very REAL, and HEALING—for both of us.
And, you can do this too with your loved ones— at any time. Invite your loved one to sit with you, in a quiet space, and express whatever words you want to share. You can experience a shared memory with one another, or create new ones. Maybe you travel to a favorite place together, or engage in a fun hobby they enjoyed. They’ll be right there with you, sharing these precious moments with you.
Know that your loved ones are alive and well. They continue to live joyful, productive lives beyond this physical realm. They can see you and hear you. They know your thoughts and feelings. They are aware of everything that has happened in your life since their physical passing. And you can continue to be in relationship with them on the Other Side. Together, you can continue to heal old wounds, guilt, and grief. Know that they are happy and want you to live a joy-filled life too.
Love Never Dies.
Alyson Gannon, Spiritual Medium website: SpiritCommunication.com